March 02, 2006

How Stupid Are We?

Just thought you all might get a kick out of these product warning labels I found.

"Directions: Use like regular soap." Found on package of handsoap.
"Warning: May contain small parts." Found on a frisbee.
"Do not use orally." Found on a toilet brush.
"Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows." Found on A/C box.
"Warning: Do not use on eyes." Found in the manual for a heated seat cushion.
"Do not use for drying pets." Found in a manual for a microwave oven.
"For use on animals only." Found on electric cattle prod.
"Peel fruit from cellophane wrapping before eating." Found on box of Fruit Roll-ups.
"Warning: Do not reuse bottle to store beverages." Found on bottle of drain cleaner.
"Keep away from children." Found on bottle of baby oil.
"Do not take if allergic to aspirin." Found on bottle of aspirin.
"Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only." Found on a package for Christmas lights.
"Ignite lighter away from face." Found on disposable lighter.
"This broom does not actually fly." Found on package for a toy witch broom.
"Warning: Has been found to cause cancer in lab rats." Found on a box of rat poison.
"Do not attempt to stop chain with hands or genitals." Directions for Swedish chain saw.
"Remove infant before folding for storage." Found on portable stroller.
"Do not iron clothes while on body." Found on packaging for an iron.
"If swallowed, promptly see doctor." Found on package for alkaline batteries.
"Warning: Do not use if you have prostate problems." Found on popular PMS medicine.
"Not for human consumption." Found on package of dice.
"Do not use orally after using rectally." Found on the back of an electric ear thermometer.
"For external use only." Found on package for a curling iron.
"You could be a WINNER! No purchase necessary. Details inside." Found on bag of corn chips.
"Not for intimate cleansing." Found on bottle of perfume.


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