July 04, 2006

Happy 4th, Everyone...Party Like It's 1999

The 4th of July has always been my favorite holiday. I loved it for the weather, the celebrations, and in the past, even for our country. Of course, most people who know me know that I have little to no respect for our country these days. It's unfortunate, because I used to be somewhat patriotic. In light of our country's troubles, as dorky as it may sound, (and it possibly sounds dorky because I thought of it while I was drunk the other night) I decided to find another reason to love my old favorite holiday. Being called Independance Day is appropriate for one of my reasons: I feel free-finally. After the most depressing 3 years of my life, feeling trapped, I found my way back to Todd. We don't check up on each other any more than normal concern would warrant. We actually enjoy hanging out together, and it doesn't feel like I'm in prison...enough said. My other reason was quite simply this: memories. I have some of the greatest memories from past 4th celebrations, from all of July, really, and for that matter, any day of any month of years past. I have had some awesome people in my life. Some aren't there anymore. It hurts when some of your greatest times were spent with people you feel you will never have that same connection with again. Surprisingly, though, some of them come back to you. Todd is my proof of that. There have been some others in just the past couple of weeks, too, and strangely, it is almost as exciting as hooking back up with an old boyfriend. Things have changed, we are older, heavier, and burdened with more responsibility. It is good to know that there are some people who can come back into your life after so many years and you can pick up almost exactly where you left off. This 4th of July, because of some of these old friends, has left me feeling young, fun, and driven to succeed...like I was so many years ago. In honor of these people, I have decided to do a post for each one of them, in no particular order. A small paragraph is the least I can do. It's kind of a 4th of July resolution...in a way...maybe, not really...who knows. It's not like I'm the only one who mixes holidays. THIS MEANS YOU, SARAH!!

July 02, 2006

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME......

For my birthday today, I think I'll do some birthday plastering and drywalling at LeeAnn's house, followed by some much needed to do birthday laundry. If there's time, I'll catch up on the birthday dishes, and if my birthday migraine goes away, some folks will be meeting me at Riverview for a different type of plastering. HERE'S HOPING!!!

April 11, 2006

A Man (or woman), A Plan, A Roadtrip!

I've been jonesin' for a vacation...seriously. While most bills are paid off, we still came to the conclusion that a vacation wouldn't be in our best interest right now, as we are also jonesin' to buy a house.

Then it hit me. How about a good old-fashioned cheap ass roadtrip? My inspiration came from stumbling upon a mysterious boy with a boot, beer bottles and concrete, and while no longer in existance, the home of the future.

It got me to thinking that Wisconsin probably has all sorts of strange, cheap things to do and see. Plus, even if you didn't come across some of these "attractions" you may or may not be looking for, you're bound to run into some beer and some cheese, this being Wisconsin...so when you think about it, you'd win either way.

April 07, 2006

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TODD!!!!!






All I've been doing is working, so there hasn't really been anything going on worth posting about. Today there is. It's Todd's birthday. He is officially 1/4 of a century old. We don't have much planned. We'll probably go out to eat and then to Riverview tonight. I know that doesn' t seem like much of a celebration, being that we do that just about every night.

I wish everyone could be here to celebrate with us tonight. By next year, we'll be in our new house with our big yard and we'll be able to do birthdays the right way.

Happy birthday, my Todd. I love you very much.

March 09, 2006



If Joyce were a lego guy, this would be her...with her ugly, drawn on, angry eyebrows.

Cruisin' For A Bruisin'...This Means YOU, Joyce!

I could title it "Evil Bitch Part __" but there are so many evil Joyce stories that, well...I'm not sure numbers go up that high. After a little over 2 years, I finally got $60 of the only-Pete-knows how much she owes me back. It was like pulling teeth...although, I've never pulled a tooth, nor have I had one pulled, but it's probably something like getting money back from Joyce.

To truly understand how frustrating this is, you'd have to know the circumstances surrounding the lending of the money. There were several times both Todd and I were suckers, knowing full well what happens when the evil bitch gets a hold of your cash, but lending it anyway, seeing as we have a soft spot in our hearts for her husband.

The specific amount I'm in the process of getting back was a $250 dollar lend. It was for the purchase of her new house. She was going through some first time home owner or federal grant thingy or whatever it was, and the lender needed to see that she had a minimum of $2000 in her savings for a period of 2 months. I guess this shows them that the person they are lending the money to has enough money banked away to continue paying for their house if the worst were to happen.

Joyce swore to me that the money would be returned as soon as the lender guy was done checking up on them periodically. She reassured me that it wouldn't be spent, and that it just had to sit in her savings "for show." Reluctantly, I agreed to do it, thinking that if it didn't really need to be spent, there was no way I wouldn't get it back. Yeah, I know...I hadn't learned my lesson yet.

2 months passed, and when I asked for it, she replied, "Well, I needed to use it." Naturally, I argued with her about being a stupid bitch and a goddamned fucking liar...which she denied. I told her that maybe if she couldn't afford to actually have the money OF HER OWN that professional budget making folks tell her she needs, then maybe she wasn't ready to buy a house. She implied that I was young and stupid and knew nothing of finances.

So the years have passed, and by letting Jason know how pissed that whole situation has made me, I'm starting to see a little money come back my way. Understand that there is NO talking to Joyce. She is always right...and she has a long, gnarly-ass finger that she'll stick in your face while she's telling you so.

Anyway, Jason made a point of setting a portion of his check away for us. When we stopped by to get it, only Joyce was there...and she only gave us $60 of it. Todd tried to calmly discuss with her why it was wrong, and why we deserve our own money, but she wouldn't hear it. "Well, I have bills to pay, too!" she snarled. STUPID BITCH!! NOT WITH MY MONEY, YOU DON'T!

She just doesn't get it-probably never will. What pisses me off most now, is that EVERY time we see her, she's out somewhere just spending money. I see her car at the casino 3 or 4 times a week. Now I know you must be thinking, "In order to see her car there 3 0r 4 times a week, you must be going there 3 0r 4 times a week as well." Well, I do. And I love it. I have a great time, all my bills are paid, and I don't owe people hundreds upon hundreds of dollars. She does. As far as I see it, she's gambling on my dollar.

So tonight, I just got back from Wal-Mart. Sure enough, she was there with a cart full of shit. Not the necessities, like groceries and diapers, mind you...JUST PLAIN SHIT. "JOYCE!!" I yelled. I was ready to give her a piece of my mind, and possibly my fist, but do you know what the stupid bitch did? She looked right at me, turned her head, and kept walking, as if she didn't even see me. Now, being at home, and a little less pissed (believe it or not), I realize that it's probably a good thing I didn't start a fight with Joyce in the middle of Wal-Mart. It wouldn't look good for Todd's new Tire and Lube Express job there.

It's just that she has the nerve, when she's leaving a store with an armful of bags or passes me at the casino, to say to me, "I thought you needed money, what are you doing here?" Bitch, I don't NEED money. I WANT my money. YOU have it. It doesn't matter what I want it back for, even if it's to take it from her hands and literally flush it down the toilet. It's my money.

Okay...I'm done...for now, anyway. Just had to bitch about the bitch for a few.

March 05, 2006

Crazy Bitches and Rodeo Clowns

We were out at R&R the other night for Todd's sister's birthday party and a couple funny things happened.

Number one, the Evil Bitch was there. She shouldn't have been there, because she owes us so much money and always acts like she doesn't have any. Todd's sister, Tammy said, "Hey, Joyce, are you pregnant again?" She looks like she is, mind you. The great thing is, Joyce put me down for working out at the Rec. Center so much and said, "I can look just as good as anyone by working out at home." Apparently her home workouts aren't doing the job. "No, I'm not!!!" Joyce said back to Tammy, and immediatly stormed out of the bar. The other great thing about that, was that I totally busted out laughing the second Tammy said it, and Joyce saw me. I thought that would be a great drunken time to call Sarah from the bar and leave the story on her answering machine...not sure if she got it.

The other funny thing is about a bartender who also does karaoke around these parts. Her name is Trish. Sarah, you may remember her as the girl who said, "Well I work here now!!" and checked our IDs over with a fine toothed comb to make sure we "weren't wearing high heels."

Apparently she doesn't like Todd either. So I asked him, "What's her problem with you?" Todd replied simply, "I don't know, it probably has something to do with that time I was scrapping with the rodeo clowns."

I love that I have a boyfriend who can honestly say that he has scrapped with rodeo clowns. I hope everyone else finds that as amusing as I do.

March 02, 2006

How Stupid Are We?

Just thought you all might get a kick out of these product warning labels I found.


"Directions: Use like regular soap." Found on package of handsoap.
"Warning: May contain small parts." Found on a frisbee.
"Do not use orally." Found on a toilet brush.
"Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows." Found on A/C box.
"Warning: Do not use on eyes." Found in the manual for a heated seat cushion.
"Do not use for drying pets." Found in a manual for a microwave oven.
"For use on animals only." Found on electric cattle prod.
"Peel fruit from cellophane wrapping before eating." Found on box of Fruit Roll-ups.
"Warning: Do not reuse bottle to store beverages." Found on bottle of drain cleaner.
"Keep away from children." Found on bottle of baby oil.
"Do not take if allergic to aspirin." Found on bottle of aspirin.
"Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only." Found on a package for Christmas lights.
"Ignite lighter away from face." Found on disposable lighter.
"This broom does not actually fly." Found on package for a toy witch broom.
"Warning: Has been found to cause cancer in lab rats." Found on a box of rat poison.
"Do not attempt to stop chain with hands or genitals." Directions for Swedish chain saw.
"Remove infant before folding for storage." Found on portable stroller.
"Do not iron clothes while on body." Found on packaging for an iron.
"If swallowed, promptly see doctor." Found on package for alkaline batteries.
"Warning: Do not use if you have prostate problems." Found on popular PMS medicine.
"Not for human consumption." Found on package of dice.
"Do not use orally after using rectally." Found on the back of an electric ear thermometer.
"For external use only." Found on package for a curling iron.
"You could be a WINNER! No purchase necessary. Details inside." Found on bag of corn chips.
"Not for intimate cleansing." Found on bottle of perfume.

February 28, 2006

Where The Hell Have I Been?

Three words: World Of Warcraft. Todd will not leave the computer now that he has his new game, World Of Warcraft. If he does leave the computer, Mason quickly takes over, as if they are working in shifts. Damn you, World Of Warcraft, damn you!!

...But even though he may sit at the computer a little too long (or a lot), I've been thinking a lot about how happy I am with Todd. Since I've had a bit of writers' block lately, I thought I'd give a little "thank you" to two of the people who helped me get things back to the way they are.

Of course there is my sister and her family. They are always there for me, so they go without saying. Everyone knows how much they have helped me, so I guess it's two other people.

1. Sarah. She spent a lot of time just being my friend and listening to me complain about how unhappy I was without Todd. Then she moved. Instead of fading out of my life, she made sure to keep current with my problem, and at one point, even gave me a deadline. She told me to fix the problem that night as soon as I got off the phone with her, and that she'd call me the next day. I didn't want to disappoint her any more than I wanted to disappoint myself. I didn't hear from her the next day, because I had spent that very night and next day with Todd. It was a good feeling, though, to look at my caller ID and see that she had tried to call...twice. Thanks for keeping me motivated when it matters most.

2. Jenny (my cousin). The two of us actually got to go out together one night, which doesn't happen often. Again, I was sad and missing Todd. She said something to me that was simple, but really made an impact, "You only have ONE life. This one is yours. You have to do what makes you happy." After I dropped her off that night, I called Sarah. We then had the conversation I mentioned above. That night it was fixed.

So, while there have been many people who were concerned and did more than their fair share to fix my life, those two were the ones who finally drove it home. Thank you both.

February 18, 2006

Dude, Where's My Sidebar?

Just kidding. I know where it is. Sarah knows where it is...she put it there. Other than that, how do you all like the new look?

Well, I'm on my way to the wonderful, fabulous casino...and note to Jen: It's not a problem if your bills are paid and you're only spending $20! Then it's called recreation. You should go once...then you can hate it.